Blackberries, Frying Pans and Flying Devil Bugs

I don't do bugs that fly.

Give me a spider, or anything else that crawls at you, and I can deal with it. But after a highly traumatic (or in my family's opinion, dramatic) experience several years ago, I handle flying bugs with screaming, and a lot of it­­­! You see, I live in Florida and in addition to powdery beaches, tropical winters, and the bluest sky, we also have these horrible things called palmetto bugs. They are cockroaches on steroids- three times the size and they like to dive bomb... it seems usually at me. These horrid creatures are the basis for my aversion to all bugs that can go airborne.

This weekend I was home alone. My roommate was out of town visiting her boyfriend, so I spent Friday night curled up on the sofa doing research and watching old episodes of NCIS (my current TV obsession, but definitely not the point…) Anyways, so here I am sitting on the sofa, minding my own business, when I reach down beside me to get a book I’m pulling information out of.

And instead I grab something that moves.

And it doesn’t just move, it starts flying at me and hitting me!!

SO, I start screaming, and (thankfully!!) have enough presence of mind to set my laptop down on the coffee table before I jump up and start swatting. Well, Tiffany (my roommate) and I had a similar experience to this last year, and we got the bug outside by turning out all of the lights inside, opening the back door and turning the porch light on. The bug flew out and left us there, alone, screaming.

Well, OF COURSE, I thought this would work again… so I get the TV off, and the living room lights, and the back door open, and the porch light on, and I’m standing there (still screaming in spurts) expecting the bug to behave and go outside. Except…

I forgot the light over the stove was still on… and so, because flying bugs hate me as much as they do, he flew into the kitchen. I get that light turned off, grab the frying pan that I had used to make my grilled cheese dinner, and I’m waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Everything went quiet, so I think that maybe, just maybe the bug did what it was supposed to (now keep in mind that I am yelling at the bug to go outside, and of course I am expecting it to listen to me) but, SURPRISE, SURPRISE the bug is not on the porch, but under the burner on the stove. So, with all logic and presence of mind, I do the most reasonable thing…

I hit the burner with the frying pan.

Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. But the bug did not venture out toward the swing weapon, but had the audacity to crawl down into my stove. Can you believe it? After hitting the stove a couple more times out of sheer irritation, I left the bug alone.

Now fast forward 24 hours, and one of the girls from my studio is over doing homework, and she goes into the kitchen to throw something away. When she turns the light on, there sits the devil bug on the floor. The screaming commences, and we are trying to find something to trap it, without using any kind of container that isn’t disposable. We come up with an empty blackberry container. After rinsing it out (who wants to deal with that stain?) I sort of lob the container at the bug to trap it.

EXCEPT, the bug is big enough to push the blackberry container along the floor!! Ever the problem solver, I grab my trusty frying pan and plop it down on top of the plastic. So when Tiffany arrives home another 24 hrs later, the frying pan was still on the blackberry container, which is covering the flying devil bug, who still isn’t dead. Knowing me, she just starts laughing and leaves the pan on the floor until I get home to explain.




And now we have a better flying bug story to tell when trying to liven up the crowds…

xoxo,
Rachel